My 12th Brainiversary

12 years ago today, I had brain surgery. For some, that might seem like a scary thing to think about, to hear, to experience. Looking back, I probably should have been more nervous than I was at the time. However, my life had been pretty frightening for many years prior to that brain surgery. You see, I'd been dealing with a brain issue that neurologists were unable to control with medication. Despite my initial resistance, family and friends eventually convinced me to have the surgery. Since today is my 12th Brainiversary, I'm including previous "Brain" entries which best describe my journey. 

*The Worst Job Interview

In 2006, my career resume' included the following:

• High School English Teacher

• Middle School English Teacher

• Campus Teacher of the Year

• Writing Workshop presenter

• ELA Department Chair

But in 2013, I had brain surgery.

Turns out that my brain (which used to function fairly well) has a bit of a defect.

In 2006, smack dab in the middle of an important job interview with people that I knew quite well, I “zoned out”, and the next thing I knew, EMS was in the interview room with me trying to figure out what the hell was happening to me.

You see, in the middle of that job interview, my words stopped making sense, I grabbed my purse, pulled pictures of my young niece and nephew out of my wallet, proudly spread their pictures out on the table, and began showing them to my interviewers. Well, at least, that’s what the interviewers told me. You see, I don't remember any of that. Nothing at all.

Up until that day, my only understanding of a seizure was that it caused people to fall on the floor, writhe, and bite their tongues, but I was so wrong. So incredibly wrong.

On that lovely spring day in 2006, my life changed in a way that both pissed me off and terrified me. The 'naming' took several months, various doctor visits, and way too many medical tests, but I was eventually diagnosed with complex/partial seizures originating from the hippocampus in my left temporal lobe.

*Southern Hair & Seizures

Now that I've described the type of seizures that I began having in 2006: complex/partial seizures that drastically changed my life, it's time to focus on what really matters...Southern hair!

I was raised in Texas: home perms, hairspray, and highlights. So, when the time came to decide whether or not to have brain surgery (because my medication stopped working, and I totaled my car), I refused to even consider it because I didn’t want to have my head shaved. You should have seen the look on my neurologist’s face. I guess he’d never had a patient refuse life-changing surgery in order to keep her hair.

After hours of tearful discussions with family and friends, I finally agreed to brain surgery because, in order to improve my standard of living, my left hippocampus had to be removed. Fortunately, my neurosurgeon did understand the importance of Southern hair, and the normally 3 ½ hour surgery took him an extra 45 minutes just so he wouldn’t have to remove much of my hair. Now, that's a sensitive surgeon!

 

Yay, they only had to shave a little bit of my hair!

(Oops! I forgot to smile in these pics!)

6 weeks later, it was time for my checkup with my epileptologist Dr. Harvey (whom I highly recommend). He walked into the room and broke into a smile when he saw that I still had lots of hair. In fact, he actually invited another neurologist into the room just to show him. I suspect that I may have raised the respect for Southern hair in the neurological community!

Seriously, I’m so thankful to live in a part of the nation that has such an amazing medical community. My neurologist and neurosurgeon are among the best in the country, and I’m fortunate enough to have them in Dallas.

*Life in the Passenger Seat

I wrote this entry in 2013, 7 months post-surgery: Southern females tend to be taught to never show anger. Just smile and be polite. Well, I’ve had enough. It’s now been 8 years since my first complex/partial seizure, and during the last 3 years, I’ve driven a total of 6 months. ENOUGH IS ENOUGH!

To the outside world, I’m doing great because I live close to family and friends who are more than willing to help me. They take me to and from work during the week, to the grocery store on the weekends, and they will do anything else I ask them to do. If I need anything, all I have to do is text or call someone. They are more than willing, but I know that I’m asking someone to stop whatever they’re doing in their own lives just to take care of me--to take me to the grocery store, so I can get the toilet paper that I forgot to pick up during the weekend grocery shopping trip. (Oh, damn it, I just realized that I’m out of lightbulbs, and I refuse to ask for another ride, so I’ll just wait until next weekend because I guess I don't really NEED to use the lamp beside my reading chair.)

I’m sorry; what’d you say? Just text Uber or Lyft. Oh, you’re absolutely right. Not being able to drive is a trivial inconvenience, a First World Problem. I’m ungrateful and just need to learn to keep a better grocery list. After all, I’m lucky to have family and friends willing to go out of their way to take care of me because lots of people don’t. Yep, you’re right; it’s a good life. Why should I be upset? I’m 45-years-old and have to text Uber or ask others to take me to get toilet paper if I'm about to run out. I have to inconvenience others because I can't take care of myself. Why should I be upset?

In June 2013, I had brain surgery because my anti-seizure meds stopped working AGAIN, and it was time to remove my left hippocampus. The surgery went well, so last November, I was finally able to start driving again. Life was good! I was excited and began making plans for the future. I even registered to start my master’s degree! But a month ago, the nightmare returned when I had a seizure while driving and had ANOTHER wreck. Totaled ANOTHER car!

However, something has changed inside of me this time, and I’m breaking lots of Southern girl rules by actually showing that I’m angry. My friends and family seem worried because I’ve made it clear that I’m not going to live my life in the” passenger seat” anymore. I refuse to merely exist in a life dependent on others. I’m taking my life back. Hopefully, I’ll be seizure free and driving again very soon. If not, I may need to leave my life of suburbs with driveways and move to a life of cities with public transportation. Although the DFW area claims to have public transportation, it’s not very convenient, so I may have to move away from all that I know, in order to get my life back.

Yes, I suspect that some of you now consider me to be a truly shallow person, but I hope that some of you understand the anger and frustration that occurs when independent people are forced to depend on others. You know what it's like to feel that ENOUGH IS ENOUGH!

**Breakthrough Seizure

I originally wrote this in April 2025: I had a breakthrough seizure this week. It’s been nearly a year since my last seizure. 11 months actually. The last seizure I had was May 7, 2024.

So frustrating! I mean I know that it doesn’t constantly happen, but it keeps happening! It’s been nearly 12 years since my brain surgery. I’m so thankful that I had the opportunity to have brain surgery because I was having 2-3 seizures a MONTH, and now I’m only having about one a YEAR, but I’m still having one seizure about every year. So frustrating! So disappointing…

Plus post-seizure, the headache is horrendous and can last for a couple of days. This one sure did. Probably a migraine. 

Questions I always have to ask myself post-seizure:

• Have I missed any meds? I don’t think so.

• Am I sleep deprived? No

• Have I had any alcohol? No

• Have I had too much caffeine? Probably

• Am I overly stressed? Have you paid any attention to the news?!

I started having complex/partial seizures when I was 37, so it’s been about 19 years since I first started having seizures, and it never gets easier. It never seems to make sense. Why do meds work for some people but not for others? Why does surgery work for some people but not for others? These are the questions that I keep asking because I had surgery to have my left hippocampus removed (pic below), and I continue to take anti-seizure meds, but I still have occasional breakthrough seizures.  

Well, now you know what my thought processes are like after I’ve had a breakthrough seizure. Probably WAY more than you ever wanted to know. However, if you are still reading, thank you for being a part of my world.

This is a current pic of my post-surgery brain: 

 

***

It's been 19 years since my first seizure and 12 years since I had brain surgery. Now that I'm a retired school counselor, I've had time to write about this particular journey and so much more. There have been good times, bad times, and lots of in-between times. Some of you have been there for me since the very beginning. Lots of you have joined my journey along the way. Thank you all for your support. Much love to you all.

____________________________________________________

*The original version of this story was posted in my Southern Hair & Seizures Blog.

**This was originally published in May 2025

How to Be an Ally

I grew up in conservative churches, so I’m not sure how I turned out to be an Ally for the LGBTQ+ or LGBTQIA2S+ community, but I’ve always believed that everyone is worthy. Back in the ‘80s, a dear friend told me that she was gay and had a girlfriend. We were both teens, and my friend was worried that telling me that she was gay would ruin our friendship. I was surprised that it would even be an issue because we had been friends for years. I remember telling her that it was between her and God, and that if God was ok with it, so was I. She seemed so relieved, and we sat and talked for a long time that evening. Looking back, I realize how hard it must have been for her to be honest with anyone back then. To this day, she is still one of my dear friends.

That was way back in the '80s, but now that it’s the 21st century, there’s a definition for a person like me. I’m a straight Ally for the LGBTQ+ community. A straight ally, heterosexual ally, cisgender ally, or cis ally (often simply called an ally) is a heterosexual and cisgender person who actively supports and advocates for equal civil rights, gender equality, and LGBTQ+ social movements. This support goes beyond just accepting or tolerating LGBTQ+ people; it involves taking action to create a more inclusive and equitable world for everyone, regardless of sexual orientation or gender identity. Being an Ally isn’t always easy and may involve facing challenges, but it's a critical component in the ongoing effort to achieve full equality and inclusion for the LGBTQIA2S+ community. 

According to the HRC website, these are helpful ways to support the LGBTQ+ people in your life :

When socializing with straight, cisgender friends and family

• Create social settings that bring your straight, cisgender and LGBTQ+ friends and family together.

• Find opportunities to talk openly with your straight and/or cisgender friends about your LGBTQ+ friends and family and the issues they face.

• Casually mention a news item about an LGBTQ+ issue in a positive way.

• Mention other LGBTQ+ friends or family you might have in open conversations.

When socializing with LGBTQ+ friend and family

• Talk openly and honestly with your LGBTQ+ loved ones about their lives.

• Make sure that you include the partners of your LGBTQ+ loved ones in events and activities, just as you would any other friend’s spouse or significant other.

• Attend pride celebrations and other LGBTQ+ community events.

• Suggest a get-together to watch a movie or show with LGBTQ+ topics or characters.

At work

• Add your pronouns to your email signature or share your pronouns when introducing yourself to new friends or colleagues. For guidance on using pronouns, view HRC’s Pronouns 101 resource.

• If you hear an anti-LGBTQ+ comment or joke, speak up and explain why such comments or jokes are harmful and offensive.

• Integrate inclusive language into your regular conversations, professional interactions and/or spiritual life.

• Put a supportive symbol or sign in your office or home, or on your vehicle. For example, you could wear an LGBTQ+ ally button, add a rainbow sticker on your name badge at work, or put the Human Rights Campaign equal sign sticker on your car.

On your own

• Read an LGBTQ+ publication.

• Post a message in support of LGBTQ+ issues on social media.

• Get involved with pro-LGBTQ+ groups and campaigns and contact your elected officials about LGBTQ+ rights.

• Join pro-LGBTQ+ causes or groups on social media and through other social networking opportunities.

• Visit the website for PFLAG (formerly known as Parents and Friends of Lesbians and Gays), a national organization that unites parents, families and allies with people who are LGBTQ+. You can go to pflag.org for information on local meetings and PFLAG public education programs across the country.

• Stand up for LGBTQ+ issues in every aspect of your life — even if there are no LGBTQ+ people there to watch.

It’s been nearly 40 years since someone first came out to me. As a career educator, I worked 31 years with young people. I’ve seen people be kind and people be cruel. I’ve seen parents love and accept their kids when they came out to them. Those parents might have been confused or worried, but they knew that they loved their child more than they loved anyone or anything else. I’ve also seen parents kick their child out when that child came out to them. Unfortunately, those were usually the so-called “Christian” parents. I’ve seen schools do their very best to take care of all students. I’ve seen schools work hard to keep all kids safe. I’ve seen teachers, counselors, and administrators cry over their students. I do believe that students recognize the adults who are on their side. Those are the adults that students tend to go to when they need to be honest and share something important. Those are the adults who often become the student’s first Ally. I’m now a retired school counselor, but I’ll never retire from being an Ally for the LGBTQ+ community.

June is Pride month: an observation of LGBTQ+ culture through celebration and protest.