You Are Not Alone

People are struggling. So many are fearful, frustrated and angry. Some are handling it by staying immersed in the news. Others are handling it by staying away from the news. Some are protesting and marching - still determined to *fight the good fight. Others are tired of fighting because they feel like it no longer does any good. Just about everyone feels overwhelmed. 

Five years ago, the world shut down, and it’s just been a few years since it opened back up. Our country is still processing the trauma we experienced during the pandemic. The schools shut down. Businesses shut down. People were sick. People died. People lost loved ones. We didn’t know what to do or what to expect. Eventually, there was a vaccine which should have made everything better. Tragically, the vaccine turned into a divisive political issue. For some people, it even divided their families.

Now just a few years later, America is immersed in another serious crisis, and the country is even more divided. So many people feel disconnected and lonely which adds another layer to their fear, another layer to their anger, another layer to their grief. 

However, there is a difference this time. You don't have to stay home. You don’t have to deal with this crisis in isolation.

Please find your community. Find the people who support you. Find your community at church. Find your community in a group, team, or club. Find your community online. Wherever you feel safe and comfortable, find your community. 

Please find your passion. What brings you peace? What brings you energy? What gives you purpose? What do you find meaningful? Find your passion and get involved - either in person or online. If you’d like to keep learning, take a class. Just get involved. Do something that is positive for yourself.

This is not a time to isolate and stop taking care of yourself. Positive connections with others are valuable for positive mental health.This is a time to stay connected and follow your passion. Please know that you are not alone, so take care of yourself… and each other. 

* partial quote taken from 1 Timothy 6:12

Thank You

Thank you for your FB comments. Thank you for sharing. Thank you for your messages. Thank you for your blog comments. Thank you for being so real with your reactions to my When It All Falls Apart blog last week. Your responses have made it clear to me that so many people have experienced church trauma. If you want to share your story with me, I want you to know that I’m here to listen.

Based on your responses, I’m considering a When It All Falls Apart Blog Series in which people can share their experiences with me. I can write your story for you and post it on my blog. I won’t use your real name (unless you want me to). I just want you to know how freeing it is to tell people what happened to you. If you'd like to know more, please message me on FB or respond with a comment on my blog and be sure to leave your email so I can contact you.

-From a blessing for when church breaks your heart: 

Bless you, dear one. 

You who don’t give up wrestling.
Who have eyes to see something new
being rebuilt on top of what was.

Blessed are you who walk away
wounded, yes. But changed.

You are not the bad thing.
You are a gift.
And we love every bit of you. 

-Kate Bowler

https://katebowler.com/blessings/a-blessing-for-when-faith-breaks-your-heart/

When It All Falls Apart...

I used to love going to church! My parents tell me that my brother and I were christened Methodist, but the first church that I remember was First Baptist Church in Arlington, and when we moved to Brownwood, so did our church membership. 

When I was 15, my family started attending a charismatic church which had a focus on prosperity theology. It was definitely a different type of church (when people started dancing in the service, it scared me), but everybody was very nice. Plus, there were lots of fun activities: youth group, church camp, mission trips…you name it! It was a great church! 

Until it wasn’t.

My home church went from being a second home to being a place that no longer felt safe. It went from being a place which I thought taught the truth to being a place which I felt had lied to me. It went from being a place that felt like a loving family to being a place where people yelled and screamed and hurt each other. 

Yes, I was raised in church, but in my mid-twenties, I left.

It’s been 30 years since I walked out of that church. Since then, I've had the opportunity to deconstruct my faith and spend many hours in therapy. I've even found a healthy church to attend. Yes, they do exist! So, a lot has changed in my life. I have many stories to tell - maybe on another day. But, I know what it’s like to be hurt by the church...by the people you trust. I know what it’s like when a place that used to feel safe, no longer feels safe. I know what it's like when you aren't sure who or what to believe anymore.

I know what it’s like when it all falls apart.

Growing Up: Sistren Everywhere

As I explained earlier, the Sistren are a group of women who feel like it is their responsibility (perhaps even their calling) to help take care of everyone else.The Sistren have many talents and abilities, many goals and ambitions. You might recognize a Sistren in your mother, your sister, your daughter, your teacher, your lawyer, your doctor, and yes, even your mother-in-law. 

Much is expected of the Sistren. Fortunately, much is also given. Birds of a feather flock together, and the Sistren are no exception. From preschool to college and throughout their careers, the Sistren will find that there are multitudes of other Sistren to journey along beside them. These precious souls laugh with one another when a Sistren is happy, cry with her when she’s hurting, and give each other plentiful advice on every conceivable issue including whether or not to conceive...and with whom.

The Sistren will dance at your wedding--and wholeheartedly agree with your divorce. They are a bona fide reference guide of information on any topic due to their nationwide networking.Therefore, if you are planning a trip to Cozumel or a move to the East Coast, the Sistren can tell you the best hairdressers, realtors, lawyers, doctors, preschools, and restaurants in that area. 

When the internet first gained popularity in the ‘90s, the Sistren were a bit concerned that their superiority as an information network was being challenged. However, this concern was short-lived once they realized that the internet was actually offering them one more way to communicate! Email and social media were celebrated by Sistren worldwide.The Mothren claimed that an ancient prophecy was being fulfilled! A new era had dawned! 

Looking back, I am so thankful to have had the opportunity to grow up surrounded by so many Sistren. Yes, Sistren are strong. Yes, Sistren are spicy. Yes, Sistren will speak their minds. Yes, I am SO THANKFUL to have been raised by women who taught me to speak up, who taught me to speak out, who taught me that my thoughts matter, that what I do matters, and that who I am matters.

I am so thankful that I grew up Sistren!