April has been a lot. I had another seizure two weeks ago. Yes, another one. That's the second one in about 7 months. Prior to this most recent seizure, I'd already decided to change neurologists and made an appointment with an epileptologist. An epileptologist is a neurologist who specializes in treating epilepsy and seizure disorders. Unfortunately, the earliest appointment I could make was for January 2027. And yes, I'm on the waiting list.
This spring makes 20 years since my first seizure. 20 years since I was "pulled into the unknown without [my] permission".*
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In 2006, smack dab in the middle of an important job interview, I “zoned out”, and the next thing I knew, EMS was in the interview room with me trying to figure out what the hell was happening.
You see, in the middle of that job interview, my words stopped making sense, I grabbed my purse, pulled pictures of my niece and nephew out of my wallet, spread those pictures out on the table, and started showing them to my interviewers. Well, at least, that’s what the interviewers told me. You see, I don't remember any of that. Nothing at all.
Up until that day, my only understanding of a seizure was that it caused people to fall on the floor, writhe, and bite their tongues, but I was so wrong. So incredibly wrong.
On that lovely spring day in 2006, my life changed in a way that both pissed me off and terrified me. The 'naming' took several months, various doctor visits, and way too many medical tests, but I was eventually diagnosed as having complex/partial seizures originating from the hippocampus in my left temporal lobe.
It's now been 20 years since my first seizure and nearly 13 years since I had brain surgery to remove a portion of my left hippocampus. There have been good time, bad times, and lots of in-betweem times.
Hopefully, I'll be able to see the epileptologist prior to January because it sure does seem like I'm starting to have seizures more frequently than I was for several years after my brain surgery. Or, maybe my brain just doesn't like April because a friend reminded me recently that I've also had seizures during April the past two years.
Hmm...I wonder what that's all about. If I only had a brain perhaps I could figure it all out....
*Kate Bowler and Jessica Richie. “For When You Need a Second to Think It Over” in The Lives We Actually Have: 100 Blessings for Imperfect Days. (New York: Convergent Books, 2023). 94-95.
